I turned to my companion Wikipedia to help define a human herd. This is what I found: “Herd mentality implies a fear-based reaction to peer pressure which makes individuals act in order to avoid feeling “left behind” from the group. “ I don’t know about you, but I’ve lived in a herdish place on many occasions. We can be part of a herd that is defined by race, political bent, religion, school, civic group or even family. There is a feeling of protection from outside threats and a level of comfort and ease in such a place. Judgment and fear of “other” are commonly held values to keep everyone in check. There are definite rules in place – whether written down or not – and to remain a part, we must adhere to the common code. We don’t have to look very far during this political campaign season to see that the way of discussion and consensus are out and the way of the herd is dominant. Disturbing the status quo can lead to dismissal from the herd. This can happen overtly and directly or in more covert ways that lead a person to slowly drift away. Choosing to leave a herd can result in living in a very isolated and lonely place.
But there is another way – the way of community. To commune with others is a critical need within all of our human hearts. God created us to be in fellowship and communion with one another. We aren’t created to go it alone. Rather than a connection based on fear and being against, community is an invitation to join together for common purpose. There is joy and freedom, along with a lot of hard work, involved in being in community. Diverse thoughts and approaches are honored and worked through in a place of discussing and sharing life together. There is a vulnerability and willingness to look beyond the shallow and surface place of life and wrestle with and share profound thoughts and experiences. It can be an uncomfortable and raw place yet it is so worth the discomfort and effort required. It is a place where one can be authentically known and yet fully loved – a place we all long to be.
About 4 years ago, a mom realized that due to the challenges she was facing with her adopted child and the judgment felt from others, she was isolated and feeling very alone. She began reaching out to other adoptive moms and very quickly experienced that she was not in fact alone. A group called Amazing Families was born. I imagine that many a support group such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, GriefShare, etc. had similar beginnings – a person in pain, feeling isolated, reaching out to connect with others on a similar path who can travel through life together. Sometimes sharing life for a season and sometimes for a lifetime. This community of amazing families has been a safe place to laugh, to cry, to learn, to encourage, to admit defeat and celebrate victories, and to be honest as we all journey to shift our parenting paradigm and do our best with our children. Due to our family demands, it is often challenging to meet face to face but sometimes a quick call out to the yahoo group is sufficient. People respond – in word, prayer and in deed. This past year a small group of moms got together to study Conscious Discipline by Becky Bailey. I missed this community over the summer and was a bit more adrift in my parenting on many a day. So, on this day, I join in with the apostle Paul in saying to all those who are a part of the many different parts and pieces of genuine community in my life – “I thank my God every time I remember you”. Thanks for showing me the way to true community.
likerunningthroughafield 